The Ubiquitous Query Letter

I talk with a lot of writers and want-to-be-authors.

Too many of them think that writing a book is their ticket to financial security.

Not so fast….

“But ELJames wrote that book and is famous!”

“Eljames was the first to break the rules, push your comfort zone, and bring BDSM into your living room, so to speak.”

When there is a new “sensation,” I look at it very analytically.  I try to determine why?  What is it about this “thing” that has people willing to spend real money? What is causing all of the excitement?

the kiss b
The Kiss a story of love and Passion

After 50 shades, like many out there, as an experiment; I wrote a rather naughty tale about two college roommates.  These girls are from a little farming community in Iowa.  When Denise discovers that she has “feelings” for Trisha it disturbs her.  Fleeing small-town Iowa for a larger city leaves Trisha to deal with the loss of her mother, small-town BS and of course, her best friend being hundreds of miles away.

The Kiss is an introduction to these two characters that if you read the novel as many have, you will no doubt fall in love with them.

After years of trying to make a go of it in Iowa Trisha decides to take her meager savings and visit with Denise in Phoenix.  Denise is making ends meet on her own.  Trisha wants to know-how.

Denise 4 m
This is my first slightly naughty novel, top downloaded book thus far.

http://www.authortwscott.com/Denise.html

Denise and Trisha’s Adventure pushes the limits of morality much as ELJames did in her novel.  Instead of a disturbed man dominating some innocent young lady, I put some new twist on it.

Trisha discovers that her friend has been making money by modeling nude on camera for anyone willing to pay for it.  Along with the modeling, she allows them to give her directions as to what to do or what actions to take for them.  Some of these instructions are right up there with extreme deviant behavior, but who is judging? Certainly not me!

When the Consortium discovers the two playing on camera, they hatch a plan to market these two ladies to their wealthy clients who happen to be somewhat depraved.  Utilizing the web and all of its remote control glory, they invent this machine that is a remotely controllable DOM, complete with endoscopic cameras in strange places.

I believe in happy endings, so it all ends well but there are many twists and turns on the road to the Epilogue, and I promise you will be entertained.

Too many to count have been entertained thus far.  This novel gets over 2500 hits a day!  The Kiss, a free download, is my number one download on Smashwords alone.

The experiment was to see if people would be as enamored with this, as they were with 50 shades.

The Query letters that I wrote trying to “sell” it to agents were a brutal process.

Firstly one must research which agency is looking for material that is LGBT friendly and has some BDSM in it.  Who wants to read about two girls spanking one another for someone on the internet who watches them from anywhere in the world?  Can they sell it?

It is selling well, so maybe.

Receiving many rejection letters after countless months of waiting, I stopped trying.  Self-publishing the manuscript on Smashwords and then Amazon has told me the tale.  I don’t even market that book.  It was an experiment to see what people wanted to read.  That book still tops the charts for downloads and page hits.

  • Writing a query letter takes four hours if you do it right.
  • Who is interested in your work?
  • What are they looking for, exactly
  • What must the synopsis sound like to them?
  • How many pages or chapters do they want?
  • How do they want it?
  • What must the pitch look like?
  • What unique things is this agent seeking?
  • What things will get your query tossed?
  • I just learned that self-publishing might disqualify you.
  • Is published in magazines a disqualifier?
  • Is self-marketing a disqualifier?

And my favorite, “if you never hear from us, consider it a pass!”  FFS! are you kidding me?  I spend four hours of my life trying to get past your intern to have someone with a brain look at my work, and this is the best you got?

I don’t query agents like that.  It is their loss!

I think two weeks is a fair amount of time to at least send a boilerplate “, no thank you best of luck yadda yadda.”

Frankly, I am a little more confused than ever from a recent discourse with an agent.

Them “I don’t take work from authors who have already published it.”

Me “No, this novel that I am pitching is not yet published anywhere.”

Them “I am confused I read on your query that you are published.”

Me “I have work published that sells all over the world, this novel, however, is not yet published.”

Them “So, you are published, I don’t accept published works… Have a great day..”

Sorry, I am at a loss.  Does this mean that if I ever self-market any of my own work that you as an agent will never be interested in anything that I ever write because I am already selling stuff, have brand recognition, and followers?

I didn’t send that last question as my forehead was beginning to become flattened against my palm.   Is it just me or does this text seem nonsensical to anyone else?

I don’t know about you as an author, but I am rather picky.  I want an agent with little more on the ball than some intern who could be their twelve-year-old looking to make a few bucks from mum!

I look for agents who have a history of placing the kinds of material that I am writing. I go so far as to read the nature of things that they publish and who that they have published.  I will then know if I am in the ballpark.  I don’t want my time wasted; nor do I wish to waste theirs.

This blog is about allowing you to get to know me and my brand.  One of my author friends suggested it.  Truthfully she was right, I would much rather create realms with dragons or even vampires! Spending my precious time trying to get some agent to look at my stuff for more than 1.5 milliseconds through some meticulously crafted Query letters seems like a waste of time.

Follow me, tell your friends, your mum, your cousins, and even your enemies!  LOL

Seriously, I think that a network of authors is a good thing.  Let’s connect here, or on my website or twitter!

If you are an agent with a proven track record please contact me!  If you don’t see what you are looking for on my website tell me what kinds of things you are looking for. Currently, I write to please myself.  Pick a topic and give me a month.  I will accept the challenge.

Check out www.authortwscott.com

Follow me on Twitter

@authortwscott

@twscott823

Much Love -TW

Author: AuthorTWScott

Author, Writer, Artist, Graphic Artist ... Over 32 published novels crossing many genres. www.authortwscott.com

2 thoughts on “The Ubiquitous Query Letter”

  1. EL James wasn’t the first, by any stretch, but she hit just as e-readers were getting big. So instead of having to track down erotica and then hide it from the kids and neighbors, you have a nice generic Kindle, and no one knows what you’re reading.

    Liked by 1 person

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