Breaking News!

You think 2020 sucked?

Pictures captured on a cruise liner show that the dead were likely the victims of Murder Hornets infected with a mutant strain of a virus, which is believed to have come from a horseshoe bat. The pictures indicate that the passenger should have been wearing a mask to fool the Covid laden hornets.

We know the virus was a designer virus but until confirmed …’nothing to see here.’

The hornets are now the size of eagles and appear to be growing with the more blood they consume.

As the hornets make landfall, people are advised to wear a mask when outdoors to disguise themselves from the virus, I mean hornets.

When the Trump administration was asked for comment, the president said he would make a deal with them and then tweeted out his response to learn who their leader was.

Biden was asked for his advice, and his reply was “C’mon Man.” It should be noted that he was not prepared for the question when he was found wandering the neighborhood aimlessly.  He claimed to be walking the dog, but all he had was the leash, and no dog.

Congress is busy taking polls to figure out the right response to the threat.

The unbiased fact-checkers have been working hard to scrub any conservative talking points from the web.  They are also scouring news of the Covid Hornets, as they are sure this is a conspiracy by the Trump administration.

Meanwhile, Fauci was asked for his advice. “Stay at least six feet away from them.”

Man, am I glad he is working for us.  Phew.

Disney and Netflix have decided to sue for the movie rights, while both were seen with their photographers getting possible footage for their upcoming movie.  Rumor is it will be titled “You only wish hindsight was 2020.”

They are both claiming that they each read this blog post first, which somehow gives them the rights to run with it.  The Supreme Court is expected to hear the case unless the hornets or the virus get us first.

Another idea for the title floated around was “Buckle up Buttercup, the real fun is just about to start.”

Who knows, maybe Amazon will try to get the rights to it.

Liberal lawmakers have stopped all production of a pesticide that will kill the hornets.  They are concerned that the spray will get into the Ozone and seep into space, causing climate change on other planets.  They have noted that Mars is undergoing climate change right now, and they believe that flatulent cows are at fault.  Their lead scientist, ‘a women on the View who claimed to have once read a science book,’ believes that the gases escape through the hole in the atmosphere and travel to distant planets.

“The peasants must go back to the stone age to be good neighbors in the Universe.”

The science guy has confirmed this, which is causing quite the stir in the scientific community. The Hollywood elite and other business owners are flying to Switzerland in thier private jets to discuss how best to stop the methane gasses from escaping on Mars.

Congress is suggesting that we attempt to reason with the hornets and try to get along with them.  They have noted that a tiny percentage of those attacked dies.  While the long-term effects are unknown, they are encouraged that only the elderly seem to die as they cannot move quickly enough to avoid the dagger or vampire-like teeth.

PETA also weighed in against killing the hornets. All life is precious, unless it is human life.

Bill Gates has decided the best way to combat the hornets is to fool them into thinking it is nighttime.  He is looking at ways to keep the sun’s rays from hitting the earth. The bonus will be the earth will quickly fall into an ice age, where the hornets will slumber until such a time the sun once again shines on a dead planet.

Earth to Bill, Montgomery Burns did this in The Simpsons.  I am confident that his science is just as reliable as yours.

A darker planet would mean less food grown.  If we didn’t freeze to death, we would starve.  I think I will take the hornets. The hornets might actually be edible.

The news media blame the hornets on the Trump Administration for failing to look into his crystal balls.  The president’s job is to consult with his soothsayers and prophets to know what the future holds.  They note that if Trump spent less time tweeting and golfing, he might have seen this coming and taken steps to protect the American people.

Yep, this is how I feel about 2020. From the looks of things, 2021 will be run by people even less intelligent than what we have today.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that you make Merry on New Year’s Eve, no matter where you are.

If you cannot physically be with your family or friends, skype, zoom, or at least call them.  You never know when the Murder Hornets with Vampire fangs and a dagger will be at your doorstep.  BWHAAA!

Here is a virtual toast.  At the stroke of midnight, I will hold my glass up high and take a drink in your honor.  You my friends, readers, and followers, make what I do worth it.  Please join me at midnight on the 31rst, wherever you happen to be.

 

Much Love -TW

 

 

 

 

Author: AuthorTWScott

Author, Writer, Artist, Graphic Artist ... Over 32 published novels crossing many genres. www.authortwscott.com

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