THE NEW ANT and the Grasshopper, Two Versions:   

Did we learn nothing from grade school?

The ANT
AND THE 
GRASSHOPPER   

This one is a little different….
Two Different Versions ..
Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION

The ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm
and well fed.

The grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:  

Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN
VERSION 

The ant works hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears
on Oprah with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green …’

Occupy the Anthill stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the

Green Lives Matter group singing, We shall overcome.

Then, Reverend Al Sharpton, has
the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper while
he damns all ants. He later appears on MSNBC to complain that rich ants do not care.

Jorge Ramos appears on Univision representing Grasshoppers that came into the country illegally in biblical proportions proving his point that America is so wealthy we should have more grasshoppers in the country so rich ants who take advantage of daylight hours to work, should be cast asunder in this new modern age of civility towards grasshoppers of every other country other than the USA.

Bernie Sanders shows up at a Grasshoppers lives matter rally promising to change the playing field for Grasshoppers while making it more difficult for ants to be successful.  Promising a free home and education to all grasshoppers, along with food and housing paid for by other ant colonies, he takes money from the Grasshopper unions to push that agenda.  Buying an Ivory tower built by ants he sits on top and waits while the other ants suffer from the new higher taxes to feed the multitudes of grasshoppers now flooding into the country.

The ACLU & Liberal Left condemn the ant and blames
President Trump, President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.

Grasshoppers have had a bad wrap since the days before Jesus, Jessie Jackson says.  It is past time to make reparations to all grasshoppers.  Ants have enslaved them for eons.  Just look at how quickly they clean the fields of wheat making them ready for the next growing season.  Were they ever paid for that service he asked?  Lawyers for the Grasshoppers can find no records of payment made to the grasshoppers for clearing thousands of acres of fields of wheat and other produce.

Nancy Pelosi & Chuck Schumer  exclaim in an interview on The View that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on ants everywhere to make him them pay their fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act

retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.

The original ant, which is accused, representing all ants everywhere is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having; nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, and make reparations to the Grasshopper which accused him, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar, and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

Bernie and the other Socialist go live in their Ivory towers looking down at the throngs of grasshoppers and decimated fields and once thriving cities quoting another notable, “let them eat cake!”

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be careful how you vote in 2018.

 

Day 1 2018 Zombies are Real!

Sitting here at the keyboard on the first day of 2018.  All is quiet in the house; not even the cats are stirring. I too feel like my mind should be still as I did imbibe a little-fermented grape juice or was it whiskey. Hmmm.   At least I returned home with the clothes that I went out with.  I think….

Somewhere during the witching hours of eating, dancing, drinking, waiting for a big ball to drop, and hoping anything that I said or did does not end up on YouTube, it got damned cold for Texas.  The plants that I covered up to protect are now plantsicles.

The hotel this morning was awash with zombies.  Young child creatures carrying oversized teddy bears thought that screaming at the top of their lungs was a fun thing, as they watched the zombies shrivel to almost pulp. The piercing sounds that could break glass were no match however for the evil stares from the zombies who tried to use their magical powers to silence the evil imps.  Had they looked into the eyes of the Zombies they surely would have evaporated into steam or possibly frozen into marble statues to stand as a stark reminder to the other urchins, never taunt or antagonize a zombie on New Year’s Day!

I did not fall into the undead or walking dead category this beautiful day.  I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I saw the ragamuffins as someone else’s problem and went about my way to find one of the carts that hotels often have in good supply.  Waiting over an hour by the cart return area, two zombies of unknown sex or age came walking at a snail’s pace, pushing said cart as if they were Sisyphus struggling to manage the two roller bags and one black dress.  Slowly losing ground against the load, a bellhop took pity on them, or me, and assisted them with their load.

One of the zombies went to the door only to be met with the harsh reality of “DAMN ITS COLD OUT!”

I, although annoyed by the lack of courtesy of the zombies laughed at the sudden jolt of life that seem to lurch through the embalmed veins of the gray creature. Color of some sort seemed to well up from somewhere deep inside the beast as their animated arm movements caused some circulation of the antifreeze still sloshing through the carcass of this fiend. For the first time, I was able to tell that it was the male of the species.  I could tell this as it growled in a deep voice as it struggled against the automatic door for the disabled to breach the icy unknown terrain of the sunlit parking lot.

Thirty minutes later the creature managed to maneuver his vehicle to the entrance of the hotel where his mate waited patiently or was it dead.  The mate did not move as the car pulled close to the door.  I was not sure that it was still breathing.  Carefully I nudged it as it snorted and then as it’s large eyes opened it looked at me through a crimson hays.  I suddenly became fearful as it appeared as if it had the eyes of Mordor, and I had no magic ring to toss at it.  I cringed thinking surely that daggers would come out of those gaunt looking features but it actually spoke. “Yes, can I help you?” It said.  Clearly, this was the female although I could not picture it in that little black dress! I pointed to the other creature now looking very much like a yeti, which was standing outside his vehicle waiting for his partner, or was it his precious?

As she tried hard to stand, I slipped the bellhop five bucks to assist them and bring me the cart.  While I might have enjoyed watching the two creatures, try to lift their two bags and one black dress from the vehicle, my patience was just about gone, and I too felt as if the monster within me might immerge and ruin the first day of the year of me not sinning any more…   ever…. Who am i kidding! I sin before I ever get out of bed!

If my beast had come out to play, and I ripped my clothing off to expose my superhero status, would I have found a suite with a large S? Perhaps a suite with a large W?  Would there be a red cape or magic golden rope, or would I have established that I indeed did not have all the clothes that I started the evening with and suddenly resemble an oversized smurf with built-in glass cutters?

  • How was your first day of 2018?
  • Did you see the zombies?
  • Where you a zombie?
  • Are there videos of you on YouTube?
  • Did all of your clothes come back with you?
  • Did you know the person you woke up with?
  • Did you recognize the person in the mirror?
  • Did you see a reflection in the mirror?

Novel 26 is close to being ready to edit.  I am so excited that I have figured out how the book will end.  This is one book that I have put much thought into and actually planned it, rather than allow it be a stream of conscious.  “That will make sense to any writers out there.”

I look forward to getting to know each of you better in 2018!  Thanks so much for following me!

Follow me on Twitter @authortwscott.com or @TWScott823.  If you are an agent and want to represent someone with a proven track record, I am not sending out Query letters so contact me via the website at www.authortwscott.com.

Query letters take four hours to create, and I don’t have the time or patience.

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