I have become confused over the years as many things are now lumped together or synonymous with the word “porn.”
- Food Porn
- Library Porn
- And of course erotic porn.
If we can agree that pornography can be interpreted as an extreme of something, then we can continue on to the main topic.
In the sense that too much of anything is bad, we can quickly come to a consensus that porn in the sense of “too much,” is probably not good.
What I want to address however are the different kinds of erotic pornography.
Why do people look at or partake in porn in the first place?
Fantasy vs. reality.
In our daily lives, we live in our world of work, school or home life. During our waking hours, we do what we must do to stay on task or to be on purpose for who or what we are. Life can get pretty mundane. Several days a week we get up and do our thing. When we come home, we have another “thing” to do which is usually boring or at least mundane. Many of us might read for an escape, or most will sit in front of the TV and live their lives vicariously through football or dancing with the stars or some reality tv show, where we become the star of the show.
How many lazy boy quarterbacks have you seen, or perhaps you are one. We scream at the TV when a bad call is made, and we just don’t care that they cannot hear us. Monday morning we visit with our cohorts and talk smack about the lousy calls and then reluctantly engage in our task of shuffling papers, or writing code or whatever it is that you do. That is a reality.
Before the Internet, Pornography was relatively mild, somewhat limited to truck stops, bookstores or adult bookstores, and of course, the ever popular Playboy which I would argue was really not porn. Hustler was porn and the first to show parts of the female anatomy that one could claim had nothing to do with artistic value.
Along came an easy way to exploit people through the internet.
“Yes women are objectified but let’s face it, unless they are forced to do it by some sex trafficker, they do it to themselves.” The porn industry is huge. Like drugs, there is a demand for it. If there is a demand; no matter how illegal it becomes, there will be a source.
I wrote about marketing earlier, and sex sells. Why? Why does sex sell?
If you go to the beach no matter your gender, look at the people who are attractive in your opinion. Now try and take care to notice where your eyes go. If you are a man most probably your eyes will immediately go to the parts of her body that are covered by cloth, and your brain will fill in the blanks.
If you are a woman and you see some man that interests you; if you are honest with yourself, after looking at his face or smile and abs, your eyes will check out the bulge in shorts, or his behind.
I write a lot about nudists in my books because people fascinate me. If you are wearing a bikini, you will notice the looks from men and might have an urge to say “hey, my eyes are up here.”
The simple facts are that he or you are following your program.
When a person sees someone that is sexually stimulating to them the reward center of the brain releases chemicals that start the process of procreation.
The whole process could take hours or months to complete but make no mistake, it is a chemically induced process. When sex is involved, again, chemicals control the process from flirtation to pillow talk. Orgasm releases feel-good chemistry in the brain as well as chemicals that shut off the desire for more sex in the man until he recharges. Hence the stupor and sleep following sex.
Those chemicals or the reward of their release is what pushes us for some private time with the internet and some appliance, or at least a little digital exercise of the non-electronic kind if we are single. I would argue that it is probably healthy and if not taken to an extreme, not a bad thing.
Realizing that we are designed for procreation now let’s go back to the pornography question.
Anyone on the internet of any age can get all the porn that they want.
Let that sink in for a moment. Your five year old can stumble across it.
Young folks see this type of stuff and have no idea how to process it. Once in puberty, they have the desire; it is built in. Now they have many of the questions answered as they can watch all of it that they want.
Desire and mystery removed, now they just need a willing partner. Will babies be made or diseases spread, probably!
Pornography is not real life. Not many pizza men will ring you up looking to trade sex for pizza. If they do it could be a whole new franchise opportunity.
Young folks have no idea about such things and get screwed up ideas about sex and how it works because of what they might see.
Sex for most of us comes with commitment and emotional investment. Without it, you might as well date a corpse.
Morality is under attack by what we see in the world today, and few voices are saying, hold on there cowboy, that is not the way that it works. With the family unit in disarray, too many teen parents are being made, and abortion is probably not the answer.
What about you and I, we are adults, is porn a good thing or a bad thing?
If you find yourself dating your Hitachi more than a real person, it is probably a bad thing.
The problem with porn is that it leads people to fantasize about certain things which are just crazy if you think about it. In Denise and Trisha’s adventure, I write about rich people who pay these girls to perform acts on one another in front of a webcam to fulfill their fantasy’s. They are Dom’s in every sense of the word, but since it is over the internet and the location and identity of each of them are hidden, they can live out their fantasy remotely.
I discovered the underbelly of the internet from one of my Twitter followers who is on a site called My Free Cams. Checking out that site, the story wrote itself. Over a thousand “models” at any given time are working their audience for tips. They are providing a type of prostitution where no contact is made other than through the mouse or keyboard.
Since the writing of that book, I have learned of several other services that provide the same thing. This means that there are thousands of young ladies out there making money from their bedroom’s entertaining people for tips.
“I am not judging them.”
If they are consenting adults and make an informed decision to do this, it is their choice. These girls are also from many different countries. I would love to crawl around in their heads to see what if anything they get out of it. Is it titillating in some way?
My issue with this site and some like it is that anyone can log in and see whatever they are doing. While they tell you if you are under 18 to go away, they are not exactly asking for id. Are there girls on this or other sites who are being forced to do this? Possibly. Could the models be under 18? Good question…
Is porn a bad thing?
Porn is a thing, as my novels are a thing. If you read Denise and Trisha’s adventure, I paint pictures in your head that could be pornography. I am assured that my novel is not smutty but in a 50 Shades kind of way, it is certainly titillating.
I got a kick out of a couple that I know. She was fussing at her husband for looking at too much Cinemax or internet porn while she read smutty books. Holier than thou much? It is the same damned thing!
I would argue that books like mine or 50 shades are better as your imagination will probably paint a better picture than some person who day in and day out has sex for a living. That is why I have always felt the book version was better than the movie.
When you cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality, you are in trouble. These teachers who are sleeping with students have crossed the line, and one has to wonder what did they put into their heads?
Mental health will be the next big need in this country and probably others as we change the dynamics of who we are.
When I was speaking of nudist earlier, if you have ever tried it, the awkwardness is gone in seconds, and soon the genitalia or what have you is like a knee or elbow. Most people look better with clothes on, and I think that is why fewer women are nudist. Women more than men seem to care about what they look like and you get into this whole body shaming argument. We come in all shapes and sizes, and there is a huge difference between pornography and nudity. As an artist, I love the human form in all of its shapes and sizes.
I have this vivid memory of a man on a beach wearing a speedo. Speedos’ in the states are out of style and have been. The man himself had a scar from his neck, down around his belly button into his speedo and down one leg. He must have weighed easily 350 pounds. I smiled when I saw him and thought, “good for you!”
He survived some rather traumatic surgery or had one hell of a birthmark, and he felt sexy in that speedo. Who am I to judge him for how he is dressed. That speedo helped him to feel better about himself, and he might very easily be a super nice guy!
I must say that there is a time and a place for all things under heaven. If that sounds blasphemous, I will caution you to judge not. He knew you before you were formed and knew everything that you would ever do and created you anyway. That is my story, and I am sticking to it.
Currently, I am working on a book about witches, warlocks, dragons, and pirates! Twelve thousand words into it and I am loving it. Taking a break to write about this subject was important. One of my readers asked what I thought about pornography. Now you know!
Much Love -TW